So I don’t really watch Friends re-runs anymore. I stopped several years ago – I think when my kids were born and I had to be more picky about what I watched. With that said, I flipped on the TV and started working in the kitchen on dinner and Friends happened to be on in the background. What caught my attention was the way in which I thought about this particular episode. Rachel, Jennifer Aniston’s character for you non-Friends fans, just had a baby and was going to drop by her office to say hi to her co-workers while she was on  maternity leave. To her surprise, her office was now occupied by a 30-something man, preparing for a huge presentation to Ralph Lauren himself. Rachel felt so threatened that she cut her maternity leave short to come back to work, feeling that if this guy wows Ralph, she’ll never get future promotions or notice at all (and let the hilarity ensue).

Except, that it is not funny. My wife switched  jobs 7 years ago in anticipation of the fact that one day we would have kids and that it would be unrealistic to meet the demands of her employer and her high standards of motherhood (a company labeled, “A Great Place to Work for Women” no less).  Now, she is preparing to leave her current employer for a similar reason – lack of flexibility for family. I love her for these decisions but am discouraged that such choices need to be made at all.

I know women all over our country make decisions like this or make the opposite decision, sacrificing family or at least family time, for career. Hopefully, by the time my 4 year old daughter, or my female students who are graduating from college this year, will not have to make such choices in the coming years. Perhaps we will evolve as a society – I’m pessimistic but hopeful.